Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
