But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.