he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
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It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
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There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool