She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?