I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
