I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial