well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
