To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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