I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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