i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
