I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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