no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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