She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
