Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
