my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
In America we eat man semen.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
