I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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