She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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