Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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