We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
