You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize