Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
