have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
