College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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