i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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