Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
