I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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