just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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