I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
