you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
