tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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