he puts the penis in happiness.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
