I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
