Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
