So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
