you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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