I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
