in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize