Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
