yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
