Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
