Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
