I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My penis needs a shock collar
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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