i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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