He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
