Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
