thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
