I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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