yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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