I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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