Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
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I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
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blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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