I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
