Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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