I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
