i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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