Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
