So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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