I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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