I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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