Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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