his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
