Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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