I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
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maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
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Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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