the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
