you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
