I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
